Blue: Dear Lin Manuel...

Your play has impacted me in a way I never could have imagined.

I don’t even know where to begin with explaining the love, appreciation, astonishment and sense of empowerment your play has blessed upon me.

I know this album like the back of my hand. I have listened to it so many times that I am at the point of analyzing and discovering hidden meaning within every song, verse line, word. I would say “past the point” but I don't think there is an end to your music’s analyzation.

I have always loved examining music, especially rap music, to determine lyric’s deeper meaning and detecting references, literary devices and relating it to my life. I thought I was the only person whose love for theater and rap were so extreme and equivalent in passion.

Your play leaves me with an overwhelming feeling of appreciation. 

I struggled finding what word to use in that last sentence. But, I think appreciation perfectly describes my feelings towards Hamilton.

I feel as if I have witnessed an act of perfection, and I do not use that word lightly. I am a Communications major and I absolutely love to criticize and scrutinize plays, movies, TV shows, albums. I have never thought something didn't need extra work, a different melody, a stronger person to play a specific role. I know I am not one to harshly criticize considering I am only a sophomore in college, but I can’t help my overpowering thoughts and opinions after watching a performance. That being said, when I say I have witnessed an act of perfection, I truly mean it. 

I have always loved literature and thrived in all my english classes in school. I love analyzing lyrics and finding hidden meanings. It’s like a game to me. 

Listening to the Hamilton album and discovering hidden references, I feel as if I have a similar sense of the overwhelming feeling Lin Manuel Miranda might have had when he realized how each and every element of Alexander Hamilton’s life was a meant to be sculpted into a literary masterpiece. Hamiltons life, filled with endless twists, turns, connections, romance, significance, intelligence…it’s something more than any play writer could ever hope for. 

Your lyrics strike me and leave me astonished by the impact it has on my emotions, thoughts, actions…

“One stroke and you’ve consumed my waking days.” 

I don’t mean to make this too much of an essay, but I feel as if these feelings I have towards your music, these connections I am making, these hidden truths I am discovering… it is something I can barely understand, but it is truly magical. 

So, thank you. 

I am a writer as well. As much as I hope to write words that empower people, your words have empowered and inspired me.

In the time you have had on this earth you have accomplished something that Hamilton aspired to do; you have changed lives.

Lavender: Whisper of the Breeze

I looked upon the crisp, cut snow which brought back memories from years ago

I glanced up at the crystal sky, a tear in my eye, the urge to cry, 

she would have loved to frolic and play, in the snowflakes all day,  to get her inside, there would be no way, I told myself to know

We’ll be back someday.

I trudged through the glistening white, struggling to stay sturdy with all my might, 

Sinking deeper by step, all the hope I kept

I’d hear your giggle again one night.

I stared up at the heaven, that’s hidden by many a cloud

She was only almost seven, I gazed upon and looked within, I hope she would be proud. 

The wait is okay, it will help when I pray,

We’ll be back someday.

The whisper of the breeze, made my fingertips freeze, though I saw a faint shape in the air.  

An eyelid fluttered, the sound of my voice stuttered, a gasp I muttered 

Could she be right there?

The sky seemed to smile, I stared there for a while, picturing my sister’s golden locks of hair

I have been saying some day, ever since she passed away, 

We’ll be back… today?

“Oh sister!” I cried, “Ever since you had died, I have never been the same,”

“Come back my love, oh the angels from above, please send my sister on her way!”

The face in the sky reached out a hand, not a lie, and I lifted mine as well.

To stay mentally stable, I had to try, but down my tears had fell. 

All of a sudden, a gust broke through, and the wind whispered, loudly, “I love youuuu”

Escaped me was a scream, my heart pounded, my eyes gleam, and I pondered, was this all a dream?

If not, than this is real, all my emotions I could feel, the heavens had found a way

To get us back that day.

“Oh sister, never leave, for my loneliness is true,

My joy will be deceased, until the day I’m with you.”

The structure in the sky grew a grin, the crisp and the coldness still thin,

Until a hurricane like wind knocked me off of my feet, and vanished the face within.

The sky had become as gracious as a swan, the clouds were vague but they still moved on,

And my sister…

She was gone.

I looked in the air, but nothing was there, I needed to swear or... start a prayer

But my sister had elapsed, forever, perhaps, into the winter sky that was bare.

In this world full of gray, I hoped that a fay, could shine her back in my life like a golden ray

But their would be no way, not even the largest bribe of pay, could get us back together someday.

Blue: 12 Year Old Me

Dearest Me,

First of all, come here. Let me give you a hug.

Now let me tell you a secret. This is something you may not know or realize right now, but it is true nonetheless.

There is more to life than ones outer beauty. There is more to life than how you look on the outside or your beliefs on how people may judge your entire existence solely based off of your appearance. 

Life is about finding what makes you genuinely happy, and discovering ways to make others happy.

I know all you want to do is please those around you. But I also know you want to be a kid and not have a care in the world. You have so many conflicting energies and mindsets inside of you, and its easy to see you are wasting so much of your life hating yourself because it is impossible to please everyone.

The most important person to please, is yourself.

What people care about, what people remember, what makes an impact on others is how you make them feel. How your smile brightens up someones day. How you listen and care. How you make people laugh until they cry. Don't let your inner awesomeness be brought down because your brain can't focus on producing all your good. Don't let all your amazing attributes not shine as bright, or not show at all, because you're brain is too focused one what other people may be thinking about the way you look. 

Guess what. People don't love you and want to be with you based on your appearance. It might seem that way sometimes, but that is not the case. People like you because of whats on the inside. And when you're with people, you should focus on and remember that.

It is hard to create love for ourselves in a world that benefits off the fact that women will never be good enough. But, the flutter of a butterfly's wing can ultimately cause a tornado half way around the world. If we want to see a change, we have to make our voice heard. 

12 year old me, love yourself. Love yourself even when you don't love yourself. Because then, you can love that you into loving yourself again.

I wonder if 2o year old me seems like I have it all together. Because, trust me, I do not. But life is a journey and practice makes progress. There are ups and downs, confusions and enlightenments. We have a lot more practice to do and a lot more wisdom to acquire. But we will learn it together and embark on this wonderful journey called life.

So come here, 12 year old me. Give me another hug.

Everything is going to be alright.

With love,

Me

Published Work

Giggle Magazine, Gainesville - Article By Rachel Wiener, 2015

Published Work

Giggle Magazine, Gainesville - Article By Rachel Wiener, 2015

Red: Bagels & Noodles

Bagels and Noodles may as well be known as “The Perfect Hangover Cure”. You just rolled out of bed with your makeup still on from last night, chugged a water bottle, popped a few Advil and now you are somewhat ready to conquer the day. And what’s a better way to start your day than with brunch?

GIF courtesy of giphy.com

COFFEE.

GIF courtesy of giphy.com

Ahhh, that first taste. You slowly feel yourself becoming more and more of a person again, sip by sip. Alright. Menu time.

Bread. Bread. Bread.

GIF courtesy of giphy.com

Must. Eat. Bread. Good thing Bagels and Noodles has a fabulous selection of bagels. From plain to blueberry your bread needs will definitely be met.

Ooo. But…noodles. I can definitely go for noodles.

GIF courtesy of giphy.com

We all go into Bagels and Noodles with a closed mind. A bagel is exactly what I need to cure my hangover, right? But noodles though…noodles can definitely do the trick. From their classic Chicken Noodle Soup to their Fried Rice, eating Asian entrees for brunch will make you feel like you’re doing something wrong. But hey, if eating Lo Mein at 10am is wrong, then I don’t want to be right.

Bagels AND Noodles!

GIF courtesy of giphy.com

As the waitress comes over to take your order, you and your brunch buddy make a game time decision. She will order the popular Pad Thai dish and you will order the delicious Eggel Bagel. The best of both worlds.

If I see anyone right now I may cry.

GIF courtesy of Giphy.com

Now that the stress of the order is over, time to focus on the company. You look around and to your surprise you don’t see anyone you know…yet. You let out a sigh of relief as you count your blessings that no one has the misfortune of seeing you right now.

Finally.

GIF courtesy of idiva.com

After you and your brunch buddy reminisce about the bad decisions you made last night, your heart fills with pure happiness when you spot your waitress with what looks to be your order. She walks closer and closer to your table and finally the food has arrived. Bagels and noodles: the perfect combo to successfully treat your dreadful hangover.

I can’t wait to eat this.

GIF courtesy of giphy.com

You grab your Eggel Bagel. You are about to take a monstrous bite of that eggy, cheesy, meaty deliciousness. The moment you dive in and realize you bit off way more than you can chew, you look up and immediately regret all your life choices up until that moment.

Oh no no no no no…

GIF courtesy of giphy.com

Oh no. Mouth full. Mid bite. Makeup from last night. Hair in a messy bun. Of course now is the time you see the cute boy you met last night. You attempt to hide yourself behind your bagel as you debate whether or not you should wave high or ignore him and his friends.

Should I say hi?

GIF courtesy of giphy.com

As you finish your last sip of coffee and basically lick the bowl of Pad Thai noodles clean, you realize you are officially cured of the horrible hangover you once were suffering from. With caffeine in your blood and carbs in your belly, you convince yourself to find the courage to say hi to the boy from last night sitting a few tables down.

Successful brunching.

GIF courtesy of giphy.com

Okay, that wasn’t so bad. Hangover free, talked to that boy…pretty successful brunch if you ask me.

Red: A Kanye Night Out

A night out from start to finish can be perfectly described by the tweets of the one and only Yeezus. Who else could more accurately describe a night out with friends than the self-obsessed rap genius himself?

When you finally get out of class on Friday and realize that it's the weekend:

When your whole crew officially decides to go out:

When your friends yell at you for running behind schedule:

When your hair, makeup, and outfit are on fleek:

When your friend tells you not to take that extra shot, but it ends up being a great decision:

When that same friend tells you that you're acting too wild:

When your crew doesn't want to go to the same club as you, but you make them go anyway and it's lit:

When you realize that every relevant person is out:

When you get more than one compliment on your outfit:

When you see your crush and he/she's looking fine:

When you see your ex making moves on another person:

When you fall in love with someone while waiting for a drink at the bar:

When your friend interrupts you while you are talking to your new love interest:

When people tell you that you're wasted:

When you try to tell your friends something important, but you're too intoxicated to make sense:

When you and your friends are debating whether you should order Pokey Stix or Jimmy John's:

When you successfully end the night with the same friends who you started the night with:

When you reminisce on the night's adventures:

Now, it's time to go to sleep and get ready for Saturday Night.

Red: Insomnia

Shout out to all the night owls! I mean, it's hard to fall asleep when there is a whole world going on out there, right? And by "whole world going on out there," I mean the world of YouTube videos, Facebook stalking and self analyzation. That being said, I have complied a list based of off the random shenanigans an insomniac encounters during the wee hours of the night.

Laughing at videos of people injuring themselves.

There is a 99.9% chance I won't find these videos as hilarious in the morning but hey, they are hilarious now.

Crying at soldier home-coming videos.

Ok, these will definitely be just as heartfelt in the morning.

Food Videos.

OMG. As if late night cravings aren't hard enough. You have to throw a video of "Easy To Make Oreo Skillet Brownies with Hot Fudge" into the mix? Thanks, internet. Thanks.

Stalking your ex-boyfriends cousin’s brother and realizing he’s actually dating you’re camp friends best home friends sister. Wow! Small world!

Finding out information like this is super important.

Playing out unrealistic scenarios in your head.

I mean, there may be a chance that my crush will ask me on his formal, we will start dating, end up getting married, have 3 kids, live on the country side and fall asleep in each others arms every night...But then again, he is unaware of my existence so maybe not.

Remembering that embarrassing thing you did four months ago, hoping that if you continuously replay it in your mind it will somehow become less embarrassing.

This. Is. The. Worst. But seriously, why do we feel as if we keep replaying these bad memories, it will somehow become less embarrassing or better yet...disappear.

Debating if you should friend request that boy you hooked up with last weekend...but don't know if it would be weird or seem like your coming on to strong.

Because the simple act of requesting to be somebody's friend might seriously send some wrong signals...

Having an epiphany on how to solve world peace and hunger.

I mean, its simple!

Finishing the second season of a show you started that morning.

There is a lot of time to kill when your an insomniac.

Refreshing Instagram and snapchat every 2 minutes even though no one posts anything new or exciting at 5 AM.

Come on people, I can't be the only one awake at this time!

Analyzing yourself, your friends and the world.

Shout out to my BFF who wakes up almost every morning with 20 missed texts from me explaining and describing my every hope, dream, question and regret.

Regretting all your past life decisions.

And now is the time where you begin to regret everything from that second slice of pizza to your ex-boyfriend. But hey, maybe its just the drowsiness talking?

Watching a video of a dog saying “I love you” and wondering how a dog can be smarter than you.

......

Debating whether or not you should get up to go to the bathroom, but you are so comfy in your current position so you attempt to hold it in even though you know eventually you're going to have to get up and go.

It happens to the best of us.

Getting all comfy and cozy in your perfect night time position, giving your phone one last glance before you go off to dream land, and noticing that you have approximately 2 hours and 34 minutes until your alarm goes off and you have to start your day. I'll sleep when I'm dead I guess...?